Week twelve - summary

Overall, I found this personal change project to be a success, and it is one that I definitely want to continue to work on. I think one of the biggest components of personal change is to be realistic. You don't want to make a personal change goal that is too lofty because then you won't find success early on and you'll get discouraged and maybe back off entirely (something we need to keep in mind when making goals for our clients as well). That being said, it's also good to try and push the limits because you don't want to make your goal TOO easy. This is where the "zone of proximal development" comes in - we want to find the balance of enough success to want to keep going, but challenging enough to really push ourselves.

For instance, with my project, I've found that it's unreasonable to cut out complaining entirely, as sometimes it's necessary for our well-being to confide our problems in someone we can trust. Now that I've gone through with my project, I wish I had made my goal something like "to stop myself from complaining about things that can't be changed." Complaining about things that CAN be changed can be helpful, because others might be able to help you improve on your situation. Complaining about things that CAN'T be changed, however, seems meaningless. For instance, complaining about people, your job, the day of the week, homework - what's the point? Why not just look at the bright side instead?

I had an epiphany last week while I was sitting in one of my classes and the professor was discussing the final exam. I began to get overwhelmed thinking about all the studying I had to do, but then I thought about how much I actually enjoy the material I'll be studying. Yes, it may take me a while to review everything, but I actually find it interesting! It's not like I'm studying something I don't care about! Then I started thinking about all the other things I have to do before the end of the semester. They are mostly all things I find interesting! So, I could sit and complain about all the work I have to do, or I can be happy about the fact that I love what I'm learning and will most likely continue on to love my future career. So, I guess thinking about what you're going to say before you say it can change your perspective on it - and I definitely feel better about myself and my situation when I think more positively.

Personal change is definitely something I want to focus on for the rest of my life - I really believe it's important to continue to grow and change because improvements can always be made! While I had difficulty at times measuring my success with this project, I think it helps having a goal that is measurable so you can really track your progress. It also helps to hold yourself accountable if the raw data is right there on paper - it's not something you can make excuses about! So, I've learned a lot about personal change and myself from this project, and I hope I can continue to make change and better understand the difficulty associated with the changes our clients are asked to make.

Week eleven

Well I haven't been very good at keeping track of my complaining on paper over the past week. Plus the week has really gone by in a blur so it's hard for me to think back! Well, I do remember that I had one day last week where I had a really bad day and didn't feel well, so I had a little break down and had to be comforted by Bret. Sometimes I feel like those days are necessary to just get it all out, and it really did make me feel better afterwards...plus Bret was able to remind me that it was just a bad day and not a reflection of me as a person or anything. Sometimes we just have to be reminded of those things. I had a really productive weekend where I was, once again, able to just put my head down and plow through what needed to be done with no complaining.
There have definitely been a few instances lately where I've had to practice helping other people to think more positively. This has really been difficult for me because I don't want it to sound like I'm not giving them the space they need to "vent" - as I mentioned above, sometimes it's necessary to just let it all out in order to feel better. I feel like this will be a really important skill for me to continue to practice and get better at for counseling because I know it will be necessary for me to listen to client's problems and allow them to feel that it's okay to have those feelings, but I'll also have to push them in the right direction to think positively and take responsibility for their progress. Maybe this is something that would be beneficial to discuss during the next Counseling seminar?

Week ten

I was really looking forward to trying my new method of "stepping out of the room" when I felt stressed, but I haven't really needed to try it yet! Last week I did become slightly overwhelmed one day but a simple mantra of "stay positive, stay focused" helped me to get through that quickly without complaining. I also had to get work done this weekend which was easier than the previous weekend when I did a lot of complaining about the work I had to do. This weekend I just told myself from the beginning that I had to get it done, so I should just do it instead of talk about it. Well, it worked and I was able to be very productive. So, as a whole, I did a really great job of staying positive and keeping the complaining to a minimum this past week. I do have a good chunk of work to do before Thanksgiving but I'm actually feeling very good about it right now. I feel like I'm in a good mindset for the week to be able to just get it done without a lot of struggle. Let's hope this positive attitude keeps up :)

Week nine

I believe that I have continued to make some small progress over the past week. It has still been difficult for me to remember to mark everything down to really keep track (especially as I've gotten busier), but there are specific times that I remember stopping myself from complaining (at least once a day probably). Also, there have been at least two times where I've been able to make a comment to someone else to hopefully allow them to look at their seemingly bad situation from a different perspective. I was thinking today about how difficult it has been to stay out of the social complaining going on about school, because it is so much easier to fall into that conversation to connect with my peers. I am going to continue to be conscious about it so that I can try my best to either change the subject or shed positive light on the matter.

Week eight

Well, I have to say that I have not been very successful this week in terms of my personal change project. Stress and the large amount of work I have are definitely to blame for this. I have been spending so much time and energy completing all of my school work that it has been hard to really concentrate on not complaining, especially about all of the work I have! I did think about it a little bit and tried to remember how much I hated being bored over the summer with basically nothing to do, so in some ways I do appreciate being busy. I think I will have to keep trying at this over the next few weeks because it doesn't seem like the semester is going to get any easier. It will probably be most beneficial for me when I'm stressed to not complain, because it will keep me positive which will probably help me get my work done more easily! Alright, I'm going to go do some work now and not complain about it!