Feminism

I don’t write much because I don’t generally enjoy it, but there are a few thoughts I need to get down. In the past few months, I feel like I’ve had some revelations about feminism and equality. As long as I was old enough to think about it, I’ve always considered myself a feminist. I don’t feel like I’ve done much to be active in the fight for equality, except maybe a couple acting stints in The Vagina Monologues in college.

My recent revelations come from the fact that I’ve started to realize I’ve grown up thinking certain things are just the way it is for women. It’s sort of like when you’re young and you kind of think everyone else is like you. You might have certain struggles but you learn to adapt to make it through and you assume everyone else does too. Until you eventually realize not everyone has those struggles and not everyone has to adapt. Some people don’t even have to think or worry about those things that you have assumed are commonplace for everyone.

For example, street harassment. As a women, it’s just something that sort of starts happening to you and you see it happen to others, so, when you’re young and ignorant, you just think “oh, this is another thing that women go through.” Of course I never liked when it happened. Sometimes it’s non-verbal - just a look up and down or a lick of the lips. Sometimes it’s really crude - “I wanna fuck you.” Sometimes it’s just unwanted and unasked-for attention - “Hey, girl.” I never thought much about it, thinking it’s just another challenge women deal with. Lately I’ve been reading more about it and thinking about what it would be like to not have to worry about that stuff happening. To not be nervous walking alone through a group of guys on the street - because if it’s a group, the possibility of someone saying something has to be like 80% or something. I also never consciously realized the security net that came with walking with a man. Obviously I knew subconsciously that it wasn’t as much of a risk, but I never really thought about how telling that is regarding the respect men have for each other, but not for women.

Since I’ve started making these revelations and my awareness is heightened, I have noticed varying levels of stereotyping of women and what that means for inequality nearly every day.
-When showing people around my new house, more than one person has said “I didn’t know Bret played golf” when they saw my golf clubs
-When MassSave came to do an energy assessment on our new house, I told the guy that we didn’t have a ladder yet and he replied “oh, you’re husband needs to get one.”
-This morning on the radio, Kiss 108’s Matty in the Morning show was discussing the Emmys, and they started talking about Lena Dunham’s outfit. Regarding the outfit, Matt said “She’s an actress and a writer and she’s talented, and she’s homely.” He goes on to talk about her show, Girls, saying “There’s two unattractive fat women sitting in a tub just talking to each other.” I have heard this kind of stuff SO MUCH about Lena Dunham, and I’m sick of it. I don’t understand what her looks have to do with any of it! There are plenty of (what I would consider) unattractive men in the entertainment industry who are very talented, and I feel like their looks never get brought into the conversation!
-Even more infuriating, later on in the morning, I heard the WEEI sports radio morning show. I kept it on because they were talking football with Tom E. Curran. Towards the end of the segment, they started talking about one of Curran’s coworkers, Kay Adams. The conversation went like this:
Dennis/Callahan:“You’re sidekick on quick slants - is she married or dating or anything?”……..
“Do you behave yourself at work because that would be hard to do - she is sultry.”
Tom E. Curran (thanks to him for being appropriate):“She is tremendous but the greatest thing is she knows her stuff, and she really does…”
Dennis/Callahan (interrupting): “Who cares?”
Seriously guys, I can’t believe they actually said WHO CARES!! As if her studies, hard work, and years of experience mean NOTHING because she’s good looking. Only thing that’s important if you’re a woman, right?

Alright, I really just needed to get that out. I’m tired and have hit my writing quota for another 6 months. I needed to get that rant out, but I’m also going to continue reading and learning about this stuff and figuring out how I can get more involved. I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts on this. Thanks for reading.